Sometimes I get scared to read about Afghanistan because what is happening is so brutal and so evil that I worry that somehow my personal involvement is making me an evil person. Like, I read about the brutality and suddenly somehow killing innocents seems okay, or people just seem irreedeemably evil. Or something. And I hear the pleasure in people's voices when they discuss the "terrorists" or the "insurgents" and I know that they really enjoy themselves. And I know that the people in power really relish all that evil. You know? And I just want to respond in some way, but there is no way. All I can do is be as decent a person as humanly possible, but sometimes its hard to know what decency really is. What really gets me is when people enjoy doing it. Or deceive another person with basic human emotions: love, trust, honour, affection. Sometimes I feel like no one good is left on the entire planet, and then I scroll down to an episode of DemocracyNow and I know people really are good. Or I read a report like the one below filed by Agence France Presse, about civilian casualities in Affy, and I know that I someone risked a lot to file that report, that made reporting such incidents their life's work. That they're serious about what they do. That a lot of people are serious about what they do.
I've suffered a lot of years without wishing death on another human being. But what if some other human being is wishing death on you? So be it, I suppose. What if they're lying to you to wish death on you? Oh, they're just doing their job. Is that what the soldiers in Affy are doing, just their job? I know a lot of them are. Just doing their job, that is. Some of them have doubts about what they're doing. I'm not their enemy. I don't want to kill or punish them. I just wish I could talk to them about what they're doing. You know?
Because I feel like when you hate people for where they're at now, you're not allowing people to open up and change. And I'd rather people change, then write them off entirely. Like there was this one comment about the Soviets, about Afghan people not being human beings. Not being human. And another on the CBC about how you should just kill people because they aren't redeemable, because there's no good in them. No soul to save.
Well, I believe in God. And I believe there is always a soul to save. Scared as I am, vulnerable as I am, bruised as my reality is- there is always something about someone that can be moved. I refuse to give up on people. But years ago, when I was at school, there was this shield around me. Other people's evil never touched me. I could read about it, feel it, hear it, and experience it- and rise above.
Its definitely harder now. Because things are going so awry. I know an entire race of people is having all of its brilliant talents, all of its smart people- basically genocided before my eyes. I don't want to visit that on any population. But am I the only one playing by these rules? Is it really the great secret of humanity- that evil wins every time?
I believe its not, because we don't really want it to be that way. Everything in human beings- everything real, every story we have, every public face- says that we value morality about everything else. We may not always apply that morality in every context, but when push comes to shove, we know what is good, and what is bad.
The place that I have been confused about is what to do when someone genocides say, your family. What is an appropriate response? Do you kill the other person? Is it justifiable? What if they simply decieve someone and covertly torture them? Do you kill? Is it okay? Should you? Does what they do to you justify the means? Should it? What should you do? And I've read all the religious texts and none of them really tell you what to do. The Bible tells you to love your enemies, but there is plenty of retaliation in the Bible. Is it right to call it retaliation? Aren't you just defending yourself? And what does it mean to defend yourself?
If this is what it means.. well read on:
HERAT, Afghanistan (AFP) — NATO-led troops shot and killed a 12-year-old girl and wounded two other civilians in western Afghanistan Sunday when they opened fire at a vehicle close to a convoy, police said.
A spokesman for Italian soldiers based in the western city of Herat confirmed the shooting but said troops fearful of an attack had first warned the car to stay away from them.
The girl and her family were driving into Herat from a neighbouring province for a wedding party when the troops passed from the other direction, said police spokesman for western Afghanistan Abdul Rauf Ahmadi.
"Foreign forces opened fire at the civilian vehicle and killed a 12-year-old girl, wounded a man and a woman," Ahmadi told AFP.
The girl was shot in the face, said her uncle, Ahmad Wali, who had been driving.
"It was rainy and we had poor visibility. All of a sudden, I saw sparks in front of our vehicle and then a foreign forces armoured convoy coming from the opposite direction," Wali told reporters.
"After the convoy had passed by, we realised that half of my niece's face was missing, her mother was wounded in the chest and I had blood on my face caused by broken pieces of windshield," Wali said.
International troops in Afghanistan to fight insurgents are wary of suicide bombing, some of them by attackers in explosives-filled vehicles, and do not allow civilians to approach them.
Despite their warnings, there are regular cases in which civilians are killed by soldiers opening fire in such circumstances.
The troops in Herat had signalled to the vehicle several times to stop, an Italian military spokesman told reporters.
Then, "the forces got worried and fired warning shots into the air and then at the vehicle. We don't know if anyone was hurt in the vehicle," he said.
Most of the troops in Herat are from Italy's deployment of roughly 2,350 troops to NATO's International Security Assistance force, which is helping fight insurgents and extend the government's authority.
It is a task that relies on the goodwill of the population, but critics say this is being squandered by civilian casualties.
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