In the smoky darkness of one of Delhi’s top nightspots, 32-year-old HR manager Bonita Barua dances a slow-sweet tango with her date.

On their second date, sparks are flying between the couple. As the tempo rises, Sayak whispers, “Babe, let’s go to my place...” A moment of lingering silence later, Bonita rues, “Not tonight, darling! Let’s dance some more.”

In an age when sexual openness is synonymous with urban broad-mindedness — is abstinence the new innocence? Bonita, who confesses to numerous affairs in the past, says, “Today we’re experiencing a sexual fatigue, especially casual sex which offers nothing emotionally.”

Her moment of truth came one morning when she woke up next to her boss — a much married, 45-year-old. “I got a call from my parents in Pune informing me of my grandma’s demise. At that moment, I just wanted to be held reassuringly, but my boss kept saying, ‘C’mon wear your clothes.’ In the light of dawn, my life was utterly hollow. I felt so cheap. I said, ‘enough!’ I’ve been there, done that, but since then I made a vow of celibacy to myself. Until I find the right guy, it’s goodbye to one night stands and free sex.”

Having broken free from its erstwhile Victorian prudishness and clerical conformity — celibacy is finally coming of age as a form of neo-virginity that’s to be openly celebrated.

Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany explains the chaste move, “Too much of physical intimacy results in boredom. A lot of young people come to me saying they’ve promised to be celibate so that they can once again crave sex and not merely perform it routinely.” She recalls how a young man who claimed to have been a sex addict in the past was now immersing himself in adventure sports like bungee jumping. “He said, ‘sex is so easily available... I’ve lost that excitement.”

The sensual joyride isn’t limited to self-professed sex junkies. Some of the most sought-after Hollywood stars are vowing celibacy, especially after fractured relationships. Pop star Peter Andre imposed a sex ban on himself post his messy split from Brit model Jordan Katie Prince. Andre confessed to The Sun tabloid, “I’m going to steer clear of women for two-and-a-half months... until we’ve moved on.”

In 2003, hottie Teri Hatcher too vowed to be a Desperate... singleton as she went sans sex for months after her 10-year marriage to actor Jon Tenney collapsed. Sexpert and editor of Scarlet Magazine Laura Godman explains, “When you come out of a long-term relationship you need time to mourn it on both an emotional and physical level, and celibacy can be the answer.”

Actor Rahul Bose, who’s been single for over eight years, however says that crying celibacy is a “publicity ploy for celebs desperate to clean up their image.” So, is celibacy a new way to sell sex when sex itself has become commonplace and uninspiring? Actress Sophie Choudhary retaliates, “Celibacy is a personal choice about a certain standard of living.”

Some like musician Sandy Banerjee claim that being celibate helps purge the system as well. “Sex isn’t just about the act — most one-night affairs involve alcohol, smoking and even the occasional drugs. Add to this, performance anxiety and the fear of unwanted pregnancy. Being clean for the last year has improved my vocal quality and I feel fitter too,” he says.

Celibacy isn’t merely a refuge for the love-lorn. Dishy singles too are professing celibacy to up their desirability. Bombshell Paris Hilton’s declared to GQ magazine, “I’m not having sex for a year. I’ll kiss, but nothing else.”

Actress Celina Jaitley, who swears by celibacy adds, “Celibacy isn’t just sexual detoxification, it’s emotional detox. Being single and celibate isn’t boring. It’s a journey of soulful self-discovery. There are certain men who want to jump into bed with you at the first go and they usually run once they know you’re not game. But then, abstinence means waiting for the correct man and moment when sex is about complete emotional surrender.”

Contrary to popular perception that chastity is a female virtue, men too are openly celibate. Twenty nine-year-old banker Shobhan Gaur says, “I’ve been celibate for the last two years. Men too seek stimulation between the ears. A lot of women ask, ‘Hey, are you gay or impotent?’ I say, ‘No, I’m celibate and lovin’ it!’”

But is it harder for men to abstain? Rock star Lenny Kravitz who’s been out of the sheets since 2008, confessed to a men’s magazine, “For some periods, it’s easy, and then it’s really hard. But, where I’m at in life, the women have got to come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and spirit.” Writer Tuhin Sinha adds, “Celibacy helps guys mentally grow up. It shifts their focus from chemistry to compatibility.”

Urban couples too are chanting celibacy. Businessman Tushar Anand, 36, says it brought him closer to his wife. “After our son’s birth, sex lost its sizzle. On a friend’s advice, we banned sex for a month. It worked wonders! We were longing for each other again like lovers and focusing on kissing, hugging, holding hands. Finally, when we had sex, it was mind-blowing,” says Anand.

Whatever the impetus — celibacy converts are enjoying going solo. “Celibacy, not promiscuity is the ultimate provocation,” concludes Bonita.