I just found out that one my long awaited reads, Unprotected, by Miriam Grossman, has its home on the world wide web- google books has a copy out there, no doubt shared by some generous library, and I've linked to it for your enjoyment. Its not present in its entirety, and indeed, I haven't read it all, but I am going through it now and coming up with some unadulterated gems.

To wit: "How scandalous," Ms. Grossman reveals, "that the very profession we trust to guide and heal is sowing confusion and mental illness." She is talking about psychotherapy and how it has turned its back on some of the time honoured wisdom about abstinence. She also subscribes to a form of gender essentialism- that is to say, that men and women are fundamentally, biologically different. I think the main thrust of her argument holds validity regardless- even if it accommodates the truism that men can be deeply damaged by casual encounters too, although they may have only a little more immunity from this type of behaviour.

Wendy Shalit notes the above in her seminal book: A return to modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue, in her anecdotal observation about a friend's son who engages in casual relationship only to find himself deeply affected when the intimacy ends. "Mom?" He says uncertainly. "I'm not sure I want to be her friend."